Dave Fumo

Nicknames: Fumaaa, Eugene, Spaghetti legs, Archimedes

If you’ll turn to your right you will see one of the finer specimens that MagnUM has to offer: David Eugene Fumo. Dave is not necessarily better at ultimate than he is at other sports, but his perfect bone structure, incredibly defined muscles, and his above-average sized, bulging veins, allow him to excel at any physically demanding task (ladies, 219-210-2100).

After joining MagnUM his freshman year, ultimate became the second most strenuous physical task for which Fumo utilized his stunning features. Dave, being such a stud, leads MagnUM as one of its three captains. Fumo’s interests are simple: lifting at the gym, late night plyo sets, leading warm up sprint-jogs, more lifting, lifting on Friday nights, lifting before practices, and doing cheeky push-up sets.

So, you may be wondering, does all of his intense physical self pwnage pay off? Let’s thoroughly examine Dave before we answer this question. We will begin with Fumo’s melon-sized calves; these weapons have been used on multiple occasions to destroy, what appear to be poor naves compared to Dave, on in-cuts. Next, Fumo’s pythonic quads come in handy when he skies opponents by several feet. Dave’s finely toned abs – well they tend to assist him more in his first most strenuous physical task. Finally we have Dave’s biceps, shoulders, triceps and what ever other muscles they claim are on your arm; with this arsenal of force Fumo hucks discs, tears 50/50’s out of the air, and holds you tenderly as you fall asleep in his arms.

In conclusion, it seems clear that Fumo, winner of the John Western Award, is a contender on MagnUM because of his love for the sport, his intellect on the field, and his disc handling skills. Most importantly, however, Fumo is will dominate you and your mother at ultimate because of his outrageous physique … is it getting hot in here or is it just me?