Will Neff

Nickname: Boxcar Willy

William “Boxcar Willy” Neff has always been the conductor on his own personal train to Ultimate glory. Throughout his life Will has been the locomotive on many Ultimate teams, recently culminating with his arrival at life’s most important station, The University of Michigan magnUM Ultimate Frisbee team. To understand the characteristic intensity, passion, and uncanny skill that Will brings to the field every time he ties on his cleats, though, it is necessary to look back – back to Will’s first gasping breaths cupped in the torrid embrace of his father’s Duran Duran disc and the birth of the “Boxcar Willy” legend.

One quiet crisp morning shortly after the Christmas holiday, Will’s parents went out for a raucous jaunt amidst the frigid backwoods of a snowbound Massachusetts winter. Warmed by whiskey and hot cider, the merry couple reveled in their frosty surroundings before stopping to rest near some railroad tracks in the woods. After enjoying a short nap, compelled by their holiday indulgences, the couple was jolted awake by the thundering approach of a 50-ton locomotive bearing down on their icy sanctuary, prompting young Mrs. Neff to immediately succumb to an early labor. Thinking quickly, being miles from the nearest available help and without proper medical apparati, Mr. Neff pulled his favorite disc from his rucksack and performed a Caesarian section on the young mother, using only the disc and his bare hands. Mr. Neff’s quick actions saved the lives of both mother and child, as he pulled the infant from his mother’s womb clutching the disc in a flawless forehand grip. His parents bestowed upon him the name, Will, because of the infant’s undeniable will and his relentless grasp upon life. To date, Will’s birth is the only recorded successful C-section using a competition disc. Thus the legend of “Boxcar Willy” arrived upon the earth. The intensity of Will’s Ultimate play today is no doubt a direct consequence of the life and death struggle the young family encountered that blessed morning highlighted by the saving grace of Mr. Neff’s 1985 Duran Duran Discraft disc. (This also likely explains Will’s disturbing affinity for the teenage boy band from the British Isles that hit their peak in the same year.)

In 4th grade Will began to really hone his skills. While most kids were struggling with long division, “Boxcar” was learning the finer points of throwing flicks, hammers, and scoobers. Fueled with this early passion for the game Will steamed ahead to captain the high school team at Amherst as only a sophomore and won National Championships in both his junior and senior seasons. Will’s lust for championship victory was not sated, though, with this first taste of accomplishment, and Will went on to compete countless times in the coming years at a championship level. Will captained a championship Junior USA team in 2004, crushing opposition from all corners of the earth in the world championships in Tourku, Finland. Based upon that effort and his high school success, Will was featured in Sports Illustrated’s “Faces in the Crowd” section, a clear warning to the world of Ultimate that its sport’s Pelé had officially arrived. After high school, Will garnered further honors, twice reaching club nationals with Boston’s Twisted Metal team and being selected as the Northeast region rookie of the year while competing on Northeastern University’s team the past two years. Will has recently transferred to Michigan joining a powerful, athletic, and committed group of players that look to benefit from his experience, leadership, and enthusiasm.

Will loves the outdoors, pineapples, and the color red (though he bleeds maize and blue depending upon the oxygen content of his blood when he is cut). As such, he is searching for a rugged, red-haired, pineapple-flavored woman (with killer handles) with which to breed and unleash a new generation of ungodly-awesome progeny blessed, like their father, with the skill, passion, and desire to conquer the sport of Ultimate. Look for Will to be the emotional locomotive behind magnUM’s efforts all season long and lead this team to success. “Boxcar Willy” is a conductor that will not be denied, and is it far better to jump on for the ride than stand in the way of his massive steel armature.