Zach Lemis

Senior - #36

Zach Lemis

Nickname:

There have been many talented and important Americans born throughout the last 250 years: Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, Michael Phelps, and Rosa Parks just to name a few. And then there was Zach Lemis. Lemis was born on July 3rd somewhere between 1985-1990 (scientists believe the exact date to be one of the great mysteries of life). He was born with an Ultrastar in his left hand and a dumbbell in his right hand, and a full grown beard. It was immediately apparent that Lemis was no ordinary child when just one week after his birth, when he started using his Frisbee to hunt game in the hills surrounding Pittsburgh to provide for his family. He was lifting weights the entire time. This style of living continued for Lemis for the next three weeks. At the ripe age of one month Lemis got the opportunity of a life time, an invitation to Mt. Olympus to meet with Zeus. Upon arrival Zeus voiced his admiration for Lemis and the great being that he was. Zeus offered Lemis a position beside himself but Lemis said “eff that,” and overthrew Zeus using nothing but his Frisbee and beard. No one seemed to notice this change in power however, as Lemis’ Frisbee were as quick as lightning and quite comparable to Zeus’ own lightning bolts. Lemis continued on as the head of Mt. Olympus for the next 18 years until he decided to go to the University of Michigan to study architecture because “the Greeks have been doing it wrong all of these years.” Once Lemis was at the University it didn’t take long for magnUM Reserve to spot his talents and convince him to join the team. The rest is history.


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